No man or woman for that matter is an island, or so it is said. There are very few places in this world remaining where a person could dwell in total isolation. Even in the smallest of communities, there are neighbors and service providers with whom we interact and have the potential of reaching out to and becoming acquainted with.
For some, however, initiating contact with others on a personal level can be frightening. They may outwardly have the ability to interact socially, go about their daily lives in the workplace and even contribute to others well being in many ways. But when it comes to sharing that deep and special part of them, they are unable to do so because they feel unworthy of love.
The reasons for this form of personal isolation can stem from many factors. Being singled out as a child more than siblings, a feeling growing up of being unloved and unwanted, or just plain different. A deep hurt from someone they trusted.
For whatever reason, these people are often painfully shy when it comes to revealing their inner self and have very low self-esteem, which continues to lower as each experience in their lives re-enforces their feelings of unworthiness.
They believe in their soul that they are unworthy of love and happiness and more often than not will not volunteer information about themselves, but instead, focus on others when they are not alone and are required to participate socially. All the while, deep inside, there is a part of them that cries out for recognition and love.
Persons living with this form personal isolation are often perceived to be different and even snobbish. Others of a more open social bent instinctively pull away from forming relationships, while those that feed on this type of personality are drawn to it and the power it gives them.
This is a type of double whammy for a person who tends towards personal isolation to protect their self from the hurts of this world. No matter how lonely they may become, their fear of being hurt or rejected holds them in a pattern of isolation.
Therapy may be one method of overcoming severe lack of self-esteem. Another would be the finding of a partner or friend who they are able to open up to. This process only happens gradually, especially if past relationships have proven hurtful and re-enforced their belief that while their skills may be useful, they themselves are unworthy of love.
The next time you run across someone who outwardly may be friendly and more than willing to help others, but appears to be socially isolated, you might want to see if that person could really use a true friend, instead of assuming that they are just snobbish. You might have the key in your possession to help someone learn to trust and love and realize that they too, are worthy.