Lack of Self Esteem and Feeling Unworthy of Love

Lack of Self Esteem and Feeling Unworthy of LoveNo man or woman for that matter is an island, or so it is said. There are very few places in this world remaining where a person could dwell in total isolation. Even in the smallest of communities, there are neighbors and service providers with whom we interact and have the potential of reaching out to and becoming acquainted with.

For some, however, initiating contact with others on a personal level can be frightening. They may outwardly have the ability to interact socially, go about their daily lives in the workplace and even contribute to others well being in many ways. But when it comes to sharing that deep and special part of them, they are unable to do so because they feel unworthy of love.

The reasons for this form of personal isolation can stem from many factors. Being singled out as a child more than siblings, a feeling growing up of being unloved and unwanted, or just plain different. A deep hurt from someone they trusted.

For whatever reason, these people are often painfully shy when it comes to revealing their inner self and have very low self-esteem, which continues to lower as each experience in their lives re-enforces their feelings of unworthiness.

They believe in their soul that they are unworthy of love and happiness and more often than not will not volunteer information about themselves, but instead, focus on others when they are not alone and are required to participate socially. All the while, deep inside, there is a part of them that cries out for recognition and love.

Persons living with this form personal isolation are often perceived to be different and even snobbish. Others of a more open social bent instinctively pull away from forming relationships, while those that feed on this type of personality are drawn to it and the power it gives them.

This is a type of double whammy for a person who tends towards personal isolation to protect their self from the hurts of this world. No matter how lonely they may become, their fear of being hurt or rejected holds them in a pattern of isolation.

Therapy may be one method of overcoming severe lack of self-esteem. Another would be the finding of a partner or friend who they are able to open up to. This process only happens gradually, especially if past relationships have proven hurtful and re-enforced their belief that while their skills may be useful, they themselves are unworthy of love.

The next time you run across someone who outwardly may be friendly and more than willing to help others, but appears to be socially isolated, you might want to see if that person could really use a true friend, instead of assuming that they are just snobbish. You might have the key in your possession to help someone learn to trust and love and realize that they too, are worthy.

Warmest regards,


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7 comments for “Lack of Self Esteem and Feeling Unworthy of Love

  1. November 30, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    It’s amazing the amount of people that suffer from poor self esteem. Often, even individuals that seem to be outgoing and self assured, in reality are covering a lack of self esteem.

  2. December 5, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    Wow, this sort of hit the nail on the head for me. I’m nice to everyone, people like me, yet I feel that there is a big part of me that I can’t really put out there and I feel very isolated and alone and yes, I worry that I come across as snobbish too. Like you say, if you come across a person like this, take the time to be their friend because they could probably really use one.
    .-= PurpleOneĀ“s last blog ..Comment by =-.

  3. December 11, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    So true. Low self esteem is a really hard thing to overcome and takes while. Therapy and support are very important. First one must recognize the problem though.

  4. December 17, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    I think feeling lonely is a very common emotion for people, even if they have quite a lot of friends some people can feel a bit isolated and lonely at times, or in general.

    I’ve tried to subscribe to your blog in google reader and it won’t add your rss – it will only add the comments rss, but not the rss for the blog itself. Disappointing, hope it gets fixed soon.

  5. SherryD
    December 19, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    I’m sorry to hear you are having trouble with adding the RSS feed Sarah. Whatever the issue was, it appears to be fixed. Simply click on the words RSS feed at the top of the sidebar to add.

  6. December 21, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    Thanks Sherry, I’ll give it a go now ;)

  7. k c
    November 17, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Lovely read. I think our self-esteem is affected (positively or negatively) by the people we have around us. That includes, friends, family and even people at work.

    Also, one simple negative word could affect one’s self esteem. If only people could change their mindset, they will have no problems with self-esteem.

    Self Esteem Affirmations

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